Til the day I die
by Erisandmira
Summary: In which Sakura gets another chance - and another and another. Not that she sees it that way. "Don't bring tomorrow because I can't take another," Sakura whispers, feeling so terrible tired that she wants to cry.
1. Chapter 1

When Sakura wakes up in her twelve-year-old body, she screams, loud and desperately. She screams and screams and screams because –_ fire everywhere, death everywhere and she is couldn't breath and it's just __**so**__ painful._

Death comes quicker than you wish and Sakura Haruno does not drift away peacefully or quickly. A medical-nin is trained to avoid getting injured in any way, because if they are injured, then there would be nobody to heal the other members of their team. Sakura, who mastered the Strength of a Hundred Technique, fights in front lines and the medical tents.

No medic ninja shall ever die until they are the last of their platoon, and Sakura keeps healing until there are no one left to heal. She keeps fighting, because beneath her lies woman and men of courage, who fought valiantly but now lay slain. Each dawn she awakes for them and face the storm.

_(Several years have rotted away and she have never felt so alone.)_

She wanted so badly to fight until there was no more enemies to fight, but in the end, she wounds up with deep gashes to her legs, arms and neck. Six broken ribs and a collapsed lung. Severe intra-abdominal bleeding. A crushed spleen. Perhaps a subdural hematoma too, she had certainty hit her head hard enough to earn one.

The accumulation those injuries could have killed her given enough time, but Uchiha Madara was impatient and cut her head off.

Huh.

How odd that she could still scream without a head. Her hands moves to touch her neck, her head and body, all still attached together. She still screams, because it's not her body. It has none of her scares, her muscles or her efforts. Screams and screams and screams because something – everything was wrong.

"..ku!"

"..eeti-….poor…Sak-"

She _died_, so why is she breathing? Could she just…stop?

She wraps her hands around her neck, infusing chakra and then –

_Sakura closes her eyes and see Naruto there on the front line. Full of life, shining so brightly, that she and everyone else hang on to him with everything they had. Sakura's eyes are too fogged to see the light, her mind too cluttered to think right, but Naruto a force of nature that is impossible to ignore._

_Bang_

_Screams_

_Bang_

_It was such an awful sound._

_Naruto yells loudly, "I'm not gonna run away, I never go back on my word!" drowning out the sound of death and pain for just a moment. God, how she loves him for it. _

Sakura wakes up again, but at the same time, she _doesn't_. Sitting on the bed, Sakura breaths purely out of reflexes and observes the world confused. She doesn't know how much time had elapsed, her perception feels strange. Much like her mind. She sees things that is not there, because she shouldn't be there. The same scene plays each day. Her (_not_) mother helps her eat her breakfast, sometimes she would also clean Sakura's body, slowly as if afraid any sudden movement would make her screech in terror (_it would_). Then her (_not_) father sits her in a wheelchair and push her around outside the garden for a couple of hours, so she can benefit from the fresh air or something.

It didn't feel real, so Sakura didn't respond. She hopes that if she ignores the oddness around her, it would just fade away. That she would just fade away. She feels calm only when she is back in what appears to her room, under the several covers, safe for the everything.

Sakura is rocking back and forth when the routine changes. The door to her room opens, slowly, as if the person on the other side hesitates to enter. A young girl arrives, with long (_pretty_) blonde hair worn in a ponytail and kind eyes.

It takes a moment before Sakura's eyes manages to focus, to identify what the lines and shapes and colors before her mean. The name is on the tip of her tongue, but it won't come to out.

The girl stands in the doorway and watches her for a moment that seems to stretch on forever. Then, softly, the blonde says, "….billboard brow?"

Sakura blinks a few times. Finally, she whisperes "Go away" in a weak tone as she slowly turns the other way and cuddles under her sheets. It was the first words she had said since – since _dying_.

But Ino never liked being ignored, so she tries again, less careful, "Hey…I thought I already explained that trying to hide is stupid when you have a billboard brow."

It was a poor attempt at humor, lacking Ino's usual fire when insulting Sakura, far too half-heartily. And yet, it sounds so real. Sakura shifts slightly and peers out at her through her sheet. Ino rewards her with a smile, a strange mixture between uncertainty and smugness colors it. Her old friend makes her way to the bed, sitting down at the edge. Close enough for Sakura to feel her presence, close enough to touch.

"You look ridiculous," Ino says, "Absolutely ridiculous, Sakura."

Ino visits her every day after that. She talks a lot, even though Sakura rarely responds. The blonde complains about her lazy teammates, her sensei and the weather. Sometimes she gushes about the newest fashion or cute boys she has seen. Ino laughs and jokes, Sakura just nods his head, thankful that Ino's voice is drowning the sound of the war – of Sakura's death. She is graceful Ino keeps coming, but she does not say before Ino stops.

For two weeks, Sakura lies on her bed, getting more agitated by the minute, anxiously waiting…waiting and waiting. When Ino finally returns, Sakura throws her pillow at her. Then, her books, pens and anything she can get her hands on. Much like her first day in this prolonged death, Sakura screams. Only this time her actually words are formed, cruel and callous words. She calls Ino a traitor, a villain, a liar and hundred different cursing words so terrible that twelve-year-old girls shouldn't know them.

Ino pets her head and sings her meaningless songs, cuddling safe with her under the bed sheets… and Sakura eventually fall asleep.

The next day, her room is filled with Orchids, Tulips and Carnations.

"Ino…I'm so sorry," Sakura looks down, not able to meet Ino's eyes.

Ino does not hesitate in forgiving her, "Me too, I didn't think the mission would last this long."

Biting her lips, Sakura strives to be worthy of that forgiveness, that endless kindness Ino keeps giving her. She forces a smile, "I'm the one who overreacted…pig."

"Who're you calling pig you billboard brow?!" Ino grins immediately.

As the days and months passed by, Sakura grows accustomed to the odd state of being. She was still in the process of dying, she thinks, but things were different now. Before things had been… complicated … painful. Now Ino was here and Sakura remembers the way Ino hair shined through the sunny day, remembers being with how being with her washed away her fears. Sakura is dying and she is grateful her mind is conjuring up Ino.

It is in this state of contentment that reality came crashing back.

Sakura's (not) mother came to her room. "Sweetie, I need you to get dressed now," she says looking more anxious then Sakura ever remembers seeing her. Her (not) father is not there, and the smell of fire and blood fills the air.

Sakura's breathing starts becoming more rapidly. "Mother… W-What's going on?" she asks her. Her mother smiles as she touches Sakura's head. _I love you_, she mouths as the sound outside becomes louder and louder. Mrs Haruno looks so gentle, so caring (_so real_). Sakura wants to nestle in her arms and be held like child. Wants comfort and warmth, so badly she almost cries. She can't remember last time she cried in her mother's arms (_maybe when Sasu- he left?)._

Sakura is in the process of dying – but she dies again, much earlier than her first life, when Orochimaru invades the village.

The roof of her house collapses upon them.

_Sakura navigates through masses of rotting corpses carelessly piled atop each other. Their flesh was torn, wrecked and twisted; looking more like squashed insects than fallen humans. The foul, rotting stench of decay festered in the air, almost making Sakura's stomach lurch and beckoning flies to cautiously hover in midair nearby._

_Where is he? Please, please God, let him be alive. _

The third-time Sakura wakes up in her twelve-year-old body, she is a little bit calmer, a little more rational. She brings her shaking hands together and whispers, "Kai," and she says it again and again. She is still twelve, weak and in her childhood room.

When she finally leaves her room, still scared and confused, her mother sends her a concern glance, her father smiles absentmindedly - and suddenly Sakura wonders if she has the chance to make things right. She can save her parents and Ino and Sai - she can save the village, save the world, save _Naruto_.

Then she remembers a red moon and a lie cast upon the world. This could not be real. She would not allow herself to be enslaved in a dream, no matter how sweet it is. If there is even a slightest chance that she could still fight and **kill** her enemies, she would take it (_even if I'm alone_?).

She had to march on, because that was what soldiers did. Naruto would want her to fight (_Naruto is gone, everyone is gone_), so she had to.

There are several ways to combat genjutsu, the illusion technique dissipation wasn't working, but maybe pain would. The Infinite Tsukuyomi is a powerful, powerful genjutsu and breaking it will not be easy. Sakura knows how the body works, knows how to heal and how to break.

(_The weapon of the mind, chiseled hard by blood, death and war_)

"Sakura," her mother says, "you okay sweetie?"

"She probably just worried about the Genin exam, isn't that right?" her father says, as he looks up from reading the paper. He looks younger than she remembers, happier too. Once, before the war, he had joked that that he had aged twice as fast this last years (_because of her?_).

Genin Exams. Sakura blinks. Oh. She was not a genin yet. Good, she is not certain if this fabricated world follows the same rules as her, but leaving the village is a lot easier without the Missing-Nin- stamp.

Pain, is the way out, and the moment Sakura put some distance between her and disturbing elements, she experiments.

Kunai-stabs probably wouldn't do anything, Sakura knows this, but she tries anyway. Being crushed alive didn't break her free either, so she avoids similar stuff. First, she tries see if simple sensations like fire or acid is enough to shock her out of this illusion. Then she tries more creative methods: Ripping off her own nails. Poison that scalds her genitals. Heating up a softer metal until it was liquid, putting it in a bowl, and then pour it inside her own ear canal. It burns off the flesh inside her ear, making her deaf and disfigured on that side. Gouging her own eyes out. Unfortunately, while she is knowledgeable enough to avoid dying of the infection, she is in too much pain to fight off the bear. Note to herself, being eating alive doesn't work either.

_The inferno is extinguished, leaving behind a dark residue that infested the soil with blood and sorrow. No longer could the clangor of the kunai be heard and the shouting of the slaughter was silenced; a hush rested over the crimson-stained field._

_In the midst of the mass destruction, slaughter and ruin, a lone boulder stretches defiantly towards the sky. And beneath it, a body, still; as in death. Naruto lies like a doll over the ground, limbs at awkward angles and head held in such a way that he cannot be sleeping. That figure, once the sun of Sakura's existence, is now an abandoned shell left to rot in the open._

_She steps closer and barely notices her own sanity dissolving into the surrounding darkness._

_A man, with blood and chaos swirling in eyes, regards her. He does not move, almost as still as Naruto. His swords is dripping with blood and he looks a little annoyed that Sakura is here, interrupting. _

_Then again, Sasuke always looks a little annoyed when he is looking at her. _

The fourth-time Sakura wakes up on the eve of her Genin exam, she feels **furious.**

(_I built shrines in my eyes to you_)

And this time, it was not herself she intends to kill.


	2. Chapter 2

Not insane

Sakura was no stranger to insanity, she had brushed past it often enough in her work, curing and inducing it in unequal measures. Yet, it had never been something she had seriously applied when describing herself. As she grew older she became more aware that her folly lied in her capacity of self-deception, which had led her to love senselessly and _dangerously_. Her crush on Sasuke, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say her crush on the idea of Sasuke, had been far from sane. She regretted how she had allowed it to mutate her heart for so many years, but she could proudly say that she learned from it and grew pass it.

Sakura is a rational, level-headed and sensible person.

And yet, she felt something was slipping right now and she was almost falling – would certainly fall if she didn't grip _something_.

She had died and died and died and died. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Sakura Haruno was _not_ insane. So, she needed to consider the two other options; she either was stuck in a genjutsu or stuck in time.

She has already explored the genjutsu option, but her past efforts only allowed her to conclude that if this was a genjutsu, it was incredibly hard to escape. Her knowledge in the art was admittedly limited, despite her innate talent, she never really got the chance to study it thoroughly. She doubted this genjutsu would include instructions on how break free from it, but she still made a mental note to investigate it later.

If this was real, if she was truly back in time…. A part of Sakura wanted nothing more than to tear down the village to search for Naruto, throw her arms around his shoulders and protect him from all that wanted to hurt him, but the other part of her was absolutely terrified by the idea. Time-travel was not possible and this time-loop reeked of torture genjutsu.

She should not get her hope up.

However, genjutsu or not, killing Sasuke could only be beneficial, to her mood and the world.

A white-hot searing fever coursed through her veins and pushed her forward even as her body protested. Sweat rolled down her skin in thick, salty beads. A tendril of pink hair had come loose from her coiled braids and clung damply to her neck, it made her skin itch and her irritation surge. Her breathing was rough and ragged and she felt her heart pounding so hard in her chest that she was half amazed her sternum hadn't cracked open.

Between the pain and the numbness spreading from her feet, it was obvious that she was reaching her limit. Exhausted, Sakura hoisted herself onto a window on a civilian apartment building, it was just wide enough to perch on. She tucked her head down behind her knees to muffle her irregular breathing – because she would hurl herself to the ground before falling so badly at stealth that _civilians_ noticed her presences.

Pathetic. Utterly, **infuriatingly**, ridiculously pathetic.

At this rate, she would kill herself long before she ever reached Sasuke's apartment.

How could her stamina possibly be this horrible? Sure, she had been moving relatively fast, but she had channeled a generous amount of chakra to her legs to lessen the strain on her muscles, and yet she was nowhere near covering a quarter of the needed ground. Not to mention how many times she had come close to falling off those buildings she was jumping between because she kept misjudging the reach of her legs.

Sakura inwardly screamed at her body for a minute: her small, weak twelve-year old body.

If this truly was a genjutsu, which Sakura was beginning to hope it was, she would kindly tell the creator that he/she has greatly exaggerated Sakura's pre-genin weakness, right after she beat the living daylights out of them, of course.

_("You are terrifying," Naruto grinned down at her, poking her cheek with his toe, "very, very terrifying, Sakura-chan!")_

Sakura inhaled and let her breath out slowly, relaxing as she did so. Naruto was damn right. She is _terrifying _and genjutsu or not, she would kill her enemies. If her body wasn't up for the task yet, then her mind would have to pick up the slack.

Charging into Sasuke's apartment and murdering him in cold blood would probably earn her a private audience with Ibiki Morino. The thought brought a shiver that coursed down her body. Not to mention how degrading it would be to be tortured by her own village for killing a traitor like Sasuke. No, murdering Sasuke would have to wait until she was certain she could get away with it. Sakura is a rational, level-headed and sensible person. Therefore, she would not rush into something before thinking it through.

After returning home to shower and change clothes, Sakura hurried to the academy, barely making in time for the exam. Even with aching muscles and a mild chakra exhaustion, she predictably did better on the exam this time.

Her teachers congratulated her warmly and handed her a forehead protector, which did not fail to invoke a small sense of accomplishment despite Sakura being a veteran ninja who have gone toe to toe with legends. Perhaps it was because the forehead protector was a symbol of her fealty to the village. It felt good to have it again, although she hadn't realized she missed it before clutching it in her hands again.

She beamed at Mizuki-sensei, a savage and bloodthirsty grin that displayed her teeth, "I vow to serve faithful and…_slaughter _anyone who doesn't."

Mizuki-sensei blinked, visibly uncertain on how to react to her declaration. She skipped away happily before he could gather his wits enough to reply. She raced down the hall, hoping to catch Ino before her friend meet up with her family.

Fortunately, Sakura spotted the familiar blonde ponytail, swing from side to side, just outside of the academy.

"Ino! Wait up," Sakura forced herself to jog, ignoring how her legs screamed in protest.

The blonde turned around, placing a hand on her hips and glaring at Sakura, "What."

For a split second, Sakura felt deeply hurt and confused, why was Ino acti- _oh_. Not for the first time and certainly not the last, Sakura inwardly cursed Sasuke…and herself. Right. Rivals. Ending precious friendships over a guy. Still, deservingly or not, it felt wrong to have Ino glaring at her like this.

An urge to please and impress Ino (not unlike the one Sakura felt when she was child) rushed through Sakura, making words leave her mouth in a clumsy manner, "Well...umm, I-I was hoping that, maybe, seeing as we are kunoichis now…I was hoping we could…" Sakura trailed off lamely.

Ino frowned, a confused look entering her eyes, "We could what?"

Sakura glanced down, embarrassed at how much of a wreck she was acting. This was ridiculous. Straightening her back, Sakura said, "I was hoping we could be friends again."

"Are you joking?" Ino shot her an incredulous look, "_You_ want to be _friends_ again?"

The sheer disbelief made Sakura wince. Tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, Sakura spoke quietly, "We're entering a dangerous occupation from today on. It has made me realize that I could _lose_ you, " Sakura resolutely pushed down the horrid memories that attempted to surge up, "and I don't want either of us to leave this world without – I want you know that I'll **raze** those who would dare to hurt you to the ground."

"…wow, that pretty dark, billboard brow, " Ino shook her head, "and presumptuous, as if I would die first," she bit her lower lip, her eyes examining Sakura, "What about Sasuke?"

"You are more important," Sakura said, and would have thrown in that so is a trashcan, but she didn't want to shock her friend too much.

Ino was silent for a moment, her face carefully blank, before a small smile bloomed on her face, "I can't argue against _that_."

Sakura grinned and offered her hand, "Friends?"

"How about almost-friends, I would like a free trial period, so I can assess your reliability and decide if I want to fully invest again," Ino said as she took her hand, her tone was teasing, but Sakura wouldn't blame Ino for harboring doubts.

Still, she casted Ino a mischievous smile as she spoke, "I hope the trial includes favors, because I was hoping you could give me haircut."

Sakura entered the classroom leisurely the next day, instinctively tilting her head to dodge an object falling from the door. The eraser landed on the floor with in a white puff. She blinked, belatedly remembering that it had been part of Naruto's prank.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled in equal parts excitement and bewilderment, "You're late! Iruka-sensei was very worried, ´cause you are never late and Sasuke thought you were having cold feet, but I didn't believe it, and I told him so, can you believe we have to be on the same team as him? Wait, you weren't here for the announcement, the three of us are teammates," Naruto paused, looking at her with big blue eyes, "you cut your hair!"

Something warm curled up inside Sakura, happy and loud, and it softened the edges of her smile as she looked at Naruto. And at that moment she couldn't help but to pray that this was real. She had truly missed her little ray of sunshine. It felt unbearably cruel to consider him an illusion, especially when he moved to circle around her in a comedic fashion that was so Naruto – his arms were flailing in all directions as he looked at her hair.

Unable to resist, she reached out a hand to claps his shoulder, so that she could feel him as well as see and hear him. Naruto's body tensed and he glanced at her with something that looked too much like panic. Her heart tightened and she hated, **hated** everything that had contributed to him reacting like that (including herself). With a sad smile, Sakura said, "It looks nice, right?"

Naruto quickly nodded his head, "You always look pretty Sakura-chan," his smile brilliant and earnest and familiar and well-creased like an oft –marked page of a favorite book. Sakura so was glad to see it again.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun," Sakura squeezed his shoulder before letting go, her eyes flicking to the other occupant of the classroom.

Sasuke was sitting at the front desk next to the door with his hands clasped tight together and his knuckles resting on his chin. He looked as unimpressed and broody as she remembered. She stared, fury and hatred narrowing her world down to only him in a short moment. He glanced away unaffected, clearly not find anything suspicious about Sakura staring at him. She briefly entrained the idea of convincing Sasuke that her love-sick behavior so far actually was homicidal impulses disguised as a crush.

"-hy are you late?" Naruto asked.

She returned her attention to him, smiling sweetly, "I had a little of an accident this morning, nothing serious, but it caused me a lot of delays."

Because as much as Sakura had missed Ino, getting her hair cut was not the true reason she had invited herself to Yamanaka house. She had limited ninja equipment, her kunais and shurikens were dainty little things that desperately needed sharpening and she only owned _three_ explosive tag. Sometimes, Sakura wondered how she ever survived leaving the village, even with her teammates help.

Ino had a wonderful collection of poisonous flowers and her home had the necessary equipment to extract poison and antidotes. Much of the afternoon had been spent giggling and prepared a half decent kit. Also, antidote or not, immunity against the poison you carry is fundamental, thus Sakura being late.

Naruto accepted her explanation, moving to place the eraser back between the door and its fame again. He cheerfully explained that prank, voicing that she was awesome for not falling for it, but that he hoped to get their new sensei.

Sasuke scoffed, "_Sakura_ didn't fall for it, there is no way any self-respecting shinobi will either."

Of course, Kakashi-sensei completely lacked self-respect (the man read _porn_ in public) and only smiled benignly underneath his mask when the eraser hit his head. The sliver haired man even allowed Naruto a moment to laugh unrestrainedly and loudly before proclaiming he hated them all and to meet him on the roof.

Sakura rocked back and forth on her heels, considering the unconcerned manner Sasuke had insulted her, like he didn't expect her to take offence. He probably hadn't meant it to be insulting, no, because that would requirement him give her a certain amount of consideration. Sasuke never really thought about her when hurting her. She was just collateral, too insignificant to warrant even intent.

_I will kill you and eat you raw_, Sakura thought, before opening a window and _walking_ up the building. Naruto's astonished shouting quickly reaching her ears.


	3. Chapter 3

Teammates

Kakashi-sensei tilted his head when Sakura finally reached the roof - the only sign of surprise the man allowed to slip through his usually nonchalant appearance. He was perched on the railing not far from where she was standing, holding a Icha Icha book and seemingly very engrossed in its pages. Despite the trembling in her muscles, Sakura elegantly flipped herself over the railing, biting back the low whimper of pain that was climbing up her throat.

A few seconds past before Sakura realized Kakashi-sensei had no intention of acknowledging her presence. So, with forced casualness, she sat down. She uncertain how much time passed before Naruto and Sasuke arrived, but she was certain that she saw Kakashi-sensei briefly glancing down at her in puzzlement from the corner of her eye.

It was a testimony to how well she knew the man that she could immediately interpret that brief look; he was impressed that she had remained silent. Between that and her casual use of Chakra Adhesion, he must be re-evaluating his opinion of her. Which, despite not having exchanged a single word with her, was undoubtedly low since she was _kunoichi _with no clan background.

Sakura never really succeed in convincing herself that her teacher thought of her as someone worthwhile, seeing as he never invested time in training her, but at least she got good at pretending like it didn't hurt, so there that.

"SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto loud yelling interrupted her self-pity session, the blonde boy ran towards her with a wide grin, "that was aaaaaamazing! You can walk up walls like grown up ninja, you know, like those with the masks that keep butting in my pranks! That's so super cool!"

"Thank you," she smiled at him even though his yelling made her ears hurt.

Naruto altered between singing her praise and loudly speculating just how many pranks he could pull off with such an ability. Watching him jumping up and down, Sakura was acutely reminded that he would summon frogs at one point and fought the urge to laugh.

Sasuke's dark gaze lingered on her for a while before he said, in rather accusing manner, "We didn't learn that in the academy."

Coolly, she met his eyes, "Very _observant_."

He narrowed his eyes at her.

She smirked.

Naruto's head darted back and forth between them as if watching a ping-pong match, letting out a confused; "Eh, eh, ehhhh?"

Kakashi-sensei cleared his throat, what was visible of his face crinkled up in a smile as he said, "Ah, young love."

It was hard to determine which one of them that looked most outraged, but Naruto was certainly the one that protested the loudest. Sakura sent Kakashi-sensei a truly venomous glare, which he was unfairly unbothered by.

"So, let's move on to the introductions, " the older man said cheerfully, "Likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams about the future?"

Naruto went first, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki! What I like is ramen, especially the kind at the Ichiraku Ramen shop. What I dislike is the three-minute wait after you pour in the boiling water. My hobbies are eating different types of ramen and compering them. And my dreams...my dream is to be the next Hokage!" Naruto finished the declaration by jumping up and pointing a finger to the sky, "And I'm going to get the whole village to acknowledge my existence."

Her heart clenched in her chest – in anger and in pain, because that was ridiculous depressing thing to say, yet Naruto proclaimed cheerfully.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I have a lot of dislikes, but no likes in particular. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality: I'm going to restore my clan and _kill_ a certain man."

Silence greeted Sasuke's statement, much like it did in Sakura's memories, but the boy himself seemed unaffected by it. For a split-second, Sakura could have sworn he shot her a challenging look, one saying 'try topping that', but while Sakura could buy Sasuke being that _petty_, she could also admit her dislike might be warping her vision.

And yet, when Naruto and Kakashi-sensei turned to her expectantly, she felt almost obligated to say something impressive. Lifting her head high, she gave them a sharp smile, "I'm Sakura Haruno. I like puzzles and reading, I **hate** traitors. My hobbies consist of doing what I like. My dream…," she trailed off, because 'breaking free of this potential genjutsu' was not an answer she wanted to share, "my dream is to become the world's greatest genjutsu master."

Kakashi-sensei tilted his head again and this time Sakura couldn't help feeling a little uneasy.

But it proved unnecessary, for Kakashi-sensei moved on to talking about his test for them tomorrow. The words 'sixty six present failure rate' and 'don't eat breakfast' lingering ominously in the air, at least for Naruto and Sasuke. Sakura, on the other hand, felt an idea take root.

She turned towards Naruto the second Kakashi-sensei disappeared. Smiling brightly, she asked, "Do you want to join me prepare for tomorrow? I can teach you Chakra Adhesion."

Naruto nodded so eagerly she was half-worried his head would fall off, "Yeah! That is an awesome idea, but, eh, charkram what?"

She blinked, observing Naruto's bashful expression for a few seconds before remembering the abysmal education Naruto has been subjected to so far. Her fists clenched, but her expression softened, "Chakra Adhesion. It how I walked up the wall."

Naruto's expression rippled – something fragile flashing in his eyes before disappearing again. He looked down, going still. "You would teach me that? Really?" Naruto asked quietly.

And Sakura couldn't talk, she couldn't even breath in fear of worsening the pain in her chest, so, she nodded.

When Naruto's smile surfaced, Sakura felt the pain wane, but not disappear. Guilt refused to leave her, especially when she had ulterior motives for her kindness. Naruto let out a joyful yell and she allowed herself to bask in it.

Predictably, Sasuke intruded. The sullen Uchiha heir had been pretending he wasn't watching them, weighting cons and pros of joining the conversation, and spoke when his annoyance tipped the scales, just as Sakura knew he would. "Hn. As if that would be enough for you two to pass."

Naruto protested in outrage, "Teme! You're just jealous because you can't do it!"

The words made Sasuke's face twitch, which Naruto definitely noticed, for he smugly continued, "Tomorrow you'll be the only one of us that can't do it."

She forced back a smile. Naruto was playing his part so perfectly that one could be fooled into thinking he was in on her plan.

"Actually," Sakura plastered a hopeful smile on her face, "I was thinking on asking if you want to join us Sasuke, it could be a team-bonding exercises."

She ignored Naruto's complains on 'why they had to include that bastard' just as she ignored the impulse to roll her eyes when Sasuke agreed after an absurd performance of reluctance.

They went to a training ground not far from her home. It had plenty of trees they could practice on and the proximity to her house meant she could bring food, which was all the convincing Naruto needed. She patiently explained the mechanism of the technique to Naruto on their way there and throw in some basic charka information for good measure. Naruto listen eagerly and asked many questions once he realized she didn't mind. Sasuke was mostly silent, only offering a few scathing comments on Naruto's ignorance, which pissed Sakura off immensely.

Fortunately, her little ball of sunshine was not easily dishearten, but Sakura did not appreciate Sasuke's sabotaging her attempts on creating a healthy learning environment where Naruto could feel secure in asking all the things he wondered.

The knowledge that Sasuke would soon be unable to do anything of that sort again was the only thing keeping her temper at bay.

Reluctantly, she agreed on a sparring session first, but only because it was Naruto who insisted. She tried hard not to be insulted when both of her teammates gave her identical surprised looks when she offered to go first.

"You don't have to Sakura-chan, I don't want you to ge-" Naruto had enough sense to stop talking when her glare turned almost lethal.

Sasuke, on the other hand, possessed as much tact as he did compassion. He made derisive sound and said, "Fine. Let's get it over with."

Sakura cracked her knuckles in reply, a sneer marring her face. "Bring it on."

Sakura had more experience fighting, more knowledge, more skills and more importantly, she wanted to hit Sasuke, _badly_. However, it was easier said than done.

They assumed fighting positions, eying each other warily, though Sauske gaze grow more arrogant the longer he looked at her. Gritting her teeth, Sakura decided to take the initiative. Channeling a chakra to her legs, she quickly closed the distance between them, surprising Sasuke with fist rapidly moving towards his face. He nimbly side-stepped the attack, knocking her elbow aside, veering her off track, and his hand flashed down to hit the back of her neck in a blow that would end the match if she did not move.

She barely managed to roll out of the way.

The rosette gritted her teeth, her fist should have punched his face before he could even form a thought of attack, but the chakra channels in her body were underdeveloped. Too small and slow for her to direct chakra as she wished. It did not matter she knew how and where to direct it, nor that she had perfect control, because it meant nothing without enough practice to craft the necessary chakra pathways.

They traded blows, twirled around each other in a flurry of kicks and punches. Sakura was at clear disadvantage. The only reason she hadn't lost yet was because she could direct enough chakra to make up for most of her physical limitations and she could anticipate Sasuke's moves.

A kick in the stomach sent her flying after she miscalculated her reach and she cursed her limps for being too goddam short.

Sakura hated feeling weak, hated _being_ weak even more. This body was impractical mess of gangly limbs and soft skin, and its every inadequacy made worst by the fact that it was _hers_. She had grown so used to belong inside a trim muscular body with calloused hands and aching scars, so how could she possible feel home in such a crampy and delicate form?

Sharp pain ripped through her as she once again strained herself while pushing her body to do _more_. At once her skin felt too tight, memories of former strength and competence bursting inside her, ready to tear through skin if need be. And yet, the only thing that leaked out was blood was her blood as she hit the ground once again.

It felt like she was fighting her body as well as Sasuke.

Said opponent was pinning her to the ground and the fact that he was breathing heavily was only a small comfort since she was gasping for air and every muscle in her body screamed in pain.

"Yield?" Sasuke asked, a kunai pressed against her throat.

She growled, but could not muster the breath to reply.

Naruto jogged towards them, his gaze shadowed with worry as he hovered over her, his concern obvious, "Sakura-chan, are you okay?"

She nodded, then reached out a hand so he could pull her up. He smiled brightly after pulling her back at her feet, "That was awesome! You really are amazing," he said earnestly.

She forced herself to grin, "Not enough it would seem," she poked his nose, "Avenge me, 'kay?"

Naruto's face immediately turned serious, he nodded grimly, "Teme will fall."

Sakura left then to their battle, promising to bring food but doubt they heard her immersed as they were with bricking.

"Just..just wait a little."

"Hehe, Sakura really did a number on you, neh?"

"Hn. I'm the one who won."

_And you should have killed me_, Sakura thought, _while you had the chance._

Sakura walked home sluggishly, the adrenaline seeping out of her body and leaving her a tired husk. She hopped Naruto and Sasuke could keep each other entertained long enough. The mixture she was planning to make needed a little time. She had fortunately enquired all the flowers she needed when she visited Ino yesterday, seeing as this particular poison was one of her top candidates for her plan to deal with Sasuke.

It was technically not a poison, it was pretty harmless when indigested in most cases. Few people knew how to arrange the circumstances that would make it lethal. Which would make it hard for anyone to trace it back to her. Not to mention it would take time before Sasuke died from it, thus less reason for anyone to suspect her.

Her hands felt clammy when she handed her teammates the lunch, and something close to anxiety churned in her stomach. The sound of their posturing and complaining almost drowned out her pounding heartbeat as she led them through the tree climbing exercise. She allowed them carry on until the twilight, chakra exhaustion amplified the toxicity of her poison and if she allowed it to work bit by bit, Sasuke would be gone in a couple of months. She just needed to find ways to encourage him engage in activities that stimulated growth of chakra passages. The breakdown of the enzyme produced by the cells to facilitate such processes will be slightly increased by her poison. Giving time to hoop up in the blood, and reduce the capacitate of the liver, which is responsible of get rid of those particular waste products, and bingo: death.

She would need to go on with this carefully, but she would not failed. She was not fully convinced she wasn't in a genjutsu, but ridding this world of Sasuke would be a weight of her shoulders. This Naruto would never be killed by someone he considered his best friend, in fact, he would not be killed by anyone if Sakura had any say in it.

Exhausted, she fell into a fitful sleep that night. In her dreams, there was a lot of blood on her hands and her knuckles dirty and gritty and she never felt more herself. When the world morphed into nightmares, sickening in their simplicity, Sakura screamed and screamed because, _because _its only her, completely alone with no one to hear her. She stumbled and dragged herself through an endless space, so isolated and so confused. When she finally found someone, a person who looked at her with the same startled disbelief burning inside her, she almost wept with joy.

Her hand reached out but the touch that greeted her was cold and slippery. It took a few more attempts before she realized that she was touching a mirror, and even then, the disbelief only grew.

She could not recognize the confused woman staring back at her.

The next day, Sakura walked through the village, every step echoing her heartbeats. She saw them in her head - people who are dead - that have been dead for a long time - causally inhabiting the space around her. They were painted into the landscape so impressively, with hands that clearly paid the greatest attention to the smallest details, that Sakura struggled to convince herself that it was nothing but an illusion.

Maybe it wasn't.

Shaking her head, she tried to focus on the bell-test. Knowing that she would see Naruto and Sasuke was grounding. She was uncertain how she wanted to proceed with Kakashi-sensei test. Obviously, they would pass as long as they preached/acted according to the whole teammates and loyalty concept Kakashi-sensei pretended to care about.

_He does care_, a small voice in her heard protested, but she was feeling rather uncharitable towards Kakashi-sensei, especially since that stupid philosophy contributed to team seven's irresponsible insistence on reasoning to Sasuke. Though, to be fair, the whole fiasco had been a team effort.

Finally reaching the training ground, Sakura was surprised to see Kakashi-sensei already being there, on time. Naruto was sitting on the ground next him. Her stomach turned in an unfriendly way as her eyes tracing the line of Kakashi-sensei clenched jaw. She could tell, even from this distance, that his body was taut and muscles coiled.

Tension rose inside her with every step, but she could not pause, her body was moving on autopilot. Words crumbled to dust in her mouth when her feet reached his vicinity. He loomed over her like a tombstone and she left whatever good cheer she had managed to muster today shiver and die.

Her heart was beating so loud she was sure he could hear it. From the corner of her eye, she could she Naruto trembling.

Kakashi-sensei's gaze weighted heavy on her when he said;

"Sasuke is dead."

**So apparently, I can't answer guest reviews, who knew? I'll just have to answer here, Rizatus I can safely say I have an ending planned for this story and an infinite loop is not what I'm going for ;) Thanks for the sweet comment and I hope you also had a nice day(and many more) 3**

**Anyway, I really appreciated the comments I received so far, so thank you very much :D I hope you guys like this two chapters and please let me know what you think, reviews really motivates me to write. Stay safe 3 **


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